Be More Ninja
by Dyphen
Summary: Jay is a big loser, with only his friend Cole to help him survive high school. But when he finds out about the ZANE pill, his life changes. But for better, or worse? (A Be More Chill/Ninjago AU! Spoilers for the plot of BMC.)
1. A... what now?

**Before you start to read this, please bear in mind that there are spoilers for the plot of Be More Chill. (Also, there is _slight_ canon divergence where i thought it was good to add in? like that's in the next chapter but just wanted to telll y'all.)**

**Anyway, characters should be easy enough to work out, but if you don't know BMC, you can just read this as a messed-up high school AU if you want! :)**

**(oh, and Kai and Nya aren't related in this.)**

* * *

Jay stood in the middle of the school bathrooms, staring dead at Kai. "A... what? Mane? Insane? Are you insane-"

"No, no, it's called a ZANE," Kai specified, waving his hands around. "Dude, this is some top-secret, like, can't even look it up on the internet shit. Before I got one of these, I was a loser, just like you. Heh, didn't even have one friend."

He leaned against a stall, smirking at him the same grin he used to slam Jay into lockers with. "That was freshman year. You don't remember me, do ya?"

Jay frowned. "You didn't go here freshman year-"

"Y-yes, I did! You just didn't notice me," he looked down, fiddling with the edge of his tank top. _Was that a lisp?_

The two Juniors stood in awkward silence for a few moments, before Jay cleared his throat. "Look, good talk, but I gotta go to my next class. Be a victim later, I guess?"

He began to turn away, but Kai grabbed his arm, making Jay flinch.

"Let me cut to the chase. I can hook you up with a guy who can sell you one of these. It's 600-"

"600 dOLLARS!?"

"-Yep, but trust me, it's so worth it. You'll be so much cooler. You like Nya, right?"

Jay blushed. "Well, I-"

"It can get you with her. Simple as. Pretty rad, right?"

Jay nodded. "I guess so? But, um... why are you telling me about these, uh, ZANEs?"

Kai shrugged. "The only reason I'm offering you one is because mine told me to. It used to tell me you were stupid, but now? It's telling me you're not so bad." He punched Jay lightly on the arm, before walking to the door. Just before he left, he turned around and smirked at Jay.

"Bring me the money by next week, and we'll be talking."

And then he was gone, and Jay was left alone in the Ninjago High boys toilets.

* * *

"Ugh."

Jay flopped down on his bed, Cole following soon after. He snorted at his antics. "Man, you look like ass."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Wow, thanks. So, what are we gonna play?" He asked, montioning his hand to the console the opposite side of the room.

Cole grinned hopefully. "Apocalypse Of The Damned?"

Jay reciprocated his expression. "Level Nine?"

Their faces turned to the TV screen. "The Cafétorium."

...

The red 'GAME OVER' letters flashed over the screen and the two boys groaned, falling backwards onto the beanbags.

"We were so close that time!" Cole shouted, chucking his controller over the other wide of the room.

Jay laughed. "Guess we're not good enough for this."

"...Am I good enough for you?" Cole asked after a second.

Jay's head snapped round. "Wha- of course, dude! You know you're my favourite person, why wouldn't you be good enough?"

Cole smirked. "Am I really your _favwourite perwson_?"

Jay put his middle finger up at him playfully. "Yes, you doofus." He fiddled with the menu screen, the words _Player Two_ displaying over the cursor.

"No, but seriously," Cole asked earnestly, "when you get this 'Hane' thing-"

"ZANE-"

"Whatever, the ZANE pill. Will you still hang out with me when you're cool?" Cole looked away, and Jay swore for the moment before he turned away he saw his face darken slightly.

"What so you mean? You're gonna be cool with me!" He smiled weakly at him, trying to get Cole to face him again.

Eventually after a few awkward moments, Cole turned back around, a small smile on his face.

"Round Two?"

"Uh, _hell_ yeah."

* * *

The mall was a pretty weird place to simultaneously buy and take the ZANE pill(with Mountain Dew? Really?), but hey, Jay's life is pretty weird already, what about some extra?

After Cole left, he just began to walk aimlessly around the mall, assuming he wasted 400 dollars on nothing (turns out Kai_ had_ been trying to scam him, so that was one good thing to come out of today).

As he rounded a corner, he spotted Nya talking to... Lloyd Garmadon? One of the cool kids who decided to come to play rehearsal for some reason? Lloyd 'I'm So Cool And Tall Look At Me' Garmadon?

Yeah. Nothing sketchy about that at all.

He began to walk up to them, not caring that they were in the middle of a conversation. "Hey, Nya!"

Nya turned around, confused, but her face softened slightly when she saw who it was. "Oh, Jay! What are you, uh, doing here?"

Lloyd glanced at him as if to say, _'Dude, you know it's not cool to steal a girl like that right?'_ "Uh, hey?"

"Well, uhm, I just wanted to ask-"

Jay wished he could finish his sentence, but unfortunately he couldn't because a searing pain enveloped his brain, making him yelp and clutch his head desperately.

**Target female: inacessable.**

"Jay?" He heard Nya ask worriedly.

"What the hell?!"

**Please excuse some mild discomfort.**

_'MiLd?!'_ Jay mentally screeched. What the fu-

"Dude, the freak's freakin' out!" Lloyd yelled, presumably pulling out his phone to film Jay's disaster.

**Accessing Muscle Memory.**

**Accessing Neural Memory.**

**Access procedure: Complete.**

"Jay Walker." a cold, analytical voice stated, seeming to fill the room. "Welcome to your _Zeolite Android Nano Extension_; your ZANE."

* * *

**Can I just say how proud I am of the ZANE anagram? It took me so long to find something for Z lmao**


	2. Jay 2 Point 0

**guess who's back again**

**I hope you all enjoy this new chapter! :D**

* * *

Jay walked down the hallway wearing his new 'The Fold' t-shirt the ZANE had made him buy, talking to his... well, who _was _Skylor to him? They weren't dating, as such, more just... Friends With Benefits. Yeah.

_"Skylor is going to take you to the make-out spot behind the school,"_ the ZANE said as he walked along with the two, _"go with whatever she's doing. After all, you are meant to be sad, since the lead singer of The Fold died in that 'freak accident' today..."_

"-favourite place behind the school!" Skylor said excitedly, and Jay realised he hadn't been listening to her for the past minute.

"Oh, cool," he commented as they walked out the doors together. He watched as she sat down carefully on the grass outside, tilting her head slightly at him- oh! and he sat down on the grass next to her.

"You know, being here with you at the moment," she whispered dreamily, "it's like we can do _anything_. Our futures mean nothing, we have no worries- what's the point in being stressed?"

She stared to lean forward towards Jay, but he stayed staring straight ahead, as ZANE was talking.

_"-listen to her... Jay! Turn around, now. Now!"_

Jay frowned, but did as ZANE asked-

His lips were captured in a soft kiss and he made a small squeak of surprise.

After a moment, he pulled away, fear in his eyes. Skylor looked at him, concerned.

"Are you ok-"

He stood up quickly, looking around frantically for where the door back to the school was. "I-I need to go..."

He started to walk back to the school, not hearing Skylor's silent sobs from behind him.

* * *

"Cole? Bro, where have you been all day-" Jay went to do their signature handshake, but Cole pushed him away. "Oh, so you haven't been ignoring me? What the hell, man?" He glared at him as ZANE started speaking in his smooth-talking voice.

_"It's called Optic Nerve Blocking. I have been blocking Cole from your field of vision. In order to make you upgrade to Jay 2.0, you must get rid of Cole. He is a link to Jay 1.0, and we do **not** want him."_

Jay shuddered, and went to open his mouth to respond, but Cole grabbed his arm.

"Seriously, what's been up with you these few days? You've been so shady, ever since... since..." an expression of realisation crossed over his face, and Jay expected him to started shouting.

"...It worked, didn't it."

The two friends stared at each other, not sure how to react, before Cole broke out into a grin.

"Jay, that's- that's AMAZING!" He grabbed him by the shoulders and almost started shaking him. "We gotta test it out! Try its tech! We gotta-" Cole's eyes lit up- "get stoned in my basement!"

Jay looked at him.

_Being shoved in the hallways._

Cole.

_Never being accepted._

His...

_Mom leaving._

...his best friend.

_Nya becoming Lloyd's girlfriend._

12 years of friendship.

_His notes scattered across the hallways._

Had all...

**_'BOYF' 'RIENDS'._**

Lead up to this.

"Jay?" Cole shook his shoulders slightly. "Are you gonna come?"

He looked over at ZANE, who simply nodded nonchalantly.

He took a deep breath...

"Optic Nerve Blocking: On."

Cole's figure glitches out of view, but not before Jay could see his face fall miles below surface level.

* * *

The noise of the party was loud, too loud for Jay.

He wanted to go home. He came here because ZANE told him to, not out of his own will and all that had come out of it was it shutting down after he'd had just one drink, getting rejected by Nya after he'd asked _ever so nicely_ is she wanted to go on a date (To be fair to her, she had just broken up with Lloyd, so-), and just now, being almost sexually assaulted by Harumi.

What a night.

He ran along the upstairs hallway, trying to find any room that could get him away from Lloyd screaming about fucking his ex-girlfriend on his parents bed.

_Locked._

_Locked._

_Open, no lock._

_Locked-_

_Aha!_

Jay pulled the door opens ran in and quickly slammed the door shut, simultaneously locking it shut. He leaned against the door, panting heavily.

"Oh my Spinjitsu Master..."

He stayed like that for a few seconds, until out the corner of his eye something _started to move-_

The shower curtain pulled open, and behind it was a dejected looking Cole, sitting on a dark blue fursuit with the head under his arm.

Jay put a hand over his heart, breathing faster than he had before. "C-Cole?"

The other boy rolled his eyes at him. "Yes, it's really me, Cole Brookstone."

Jay stood up shakily. "I didn't think you were invited to this party."

"I wasn't. Which is why I'm wearing this..." he gestured to the fursuit- "...clever disguise."

He got out of the bathtub, and sat on the edge.

"You're not talking. ZANE got you tounge?"

Jay looked down sheepishly. "No, it's... off. It's off."

"That would explain why you're talking to me again," he muttered,starting to pace the length of the room.

"You know, I had this- this really _pissed off_ monologue I was gonna say to you? When I could talk to you again?"

He glanced at Jay. "An 'Epic Journey' through 12 _years_ of being friends, and-"

He stopped and stared at Jay, and Jay realised he was smiling slightly._ Crap._

"Why're you looking at me like that?"

Jay fiddled with the edge of his leather jacket. What a dumb idea, coming as Fitz Donnegan. ZANE originally suggested Neo from 'The Matrix', but he soon realised it would be more fitting for Jay to wear that.

"It's just... it's really great to see you, man," he grinned, tears almost coming to his eyes.

"...Well it won't be."

Jay blinked. "Wha-"

"This is a _supercomputer_ we're talking about, dude. Do you really think its primary objective is to get you laid?" Cole demanded, more than asked.

"Also, there's nothing on the internet about it. And-And that's weird, right? Like, what's _not_ on the internet? Knowing your search history sometimes, _everything's_ on there. But not this. _Zilch_."

"What's your point, Cole?" Jay asked, irritatedly. He had a headache from all the booze, and he just wanted to go home.

"I was talking to one of the people I play Minecraft with, and he said his older brother got one. He went from a straight-D student, to being at Harvard."

Jay frowned. "So what's the issue?"

"Where do you think he is now, Jay?" Cole asked, tapping his foot on the tiled floor.

"I-I don't know, living a good and happy life..?" He tried.

Cole took a deep breath.

"He's in a mental hospital."

Everything seemed to slow down and speed up simultaneously. Jay's breath hitched, and he lowered his head to the floor.

"But- he had such a good life why did he- are you trying to tell me _I'll_ end up there if I keep listening to ZANE? Because that's the _dumbest_ thing you've ever-"

**_"HE WENT CRAZY TRYING TO GET IT OUT!"_**

...

The two teens stood in shocked silence, staring at each other.

Jay scoffed.

"Well, what have I got to worry about then? I'm not gonna get rid of it."

Cole's eyes flashed over with panic. "Jay, you have to-"

"You know, I think- I think you're just jealous. That I have one, and you don't."

What was he_ saying_? ZANE wasn't making him do this... this was all him.

Cole rolled his eyes. "Oh, really-"

"Look, maybe I- maybe I got lucky? Ok? From my experience, I think the universe owed me one! And I deserve it."

He went to open the door, but Cole slid in the middle of Jay and the door.

"Jay-"

"Move, Cole." He said, eyes cold.

"Jay, please..."

Jay bent over slightly to the shorter boy's ear, so he could say the next few words clearly.

"Get out of my way, _loser_."

Cole stared at him emotionlessly, and moved to the side. Jay gave him a sickening grin, and left the bathroom, leaving Cole, alone, in the bathroom, by himself.

* * *

Pixal tapped her phone in anger. "FSM, Harumi, answer me..."

Harumi finally answered.

_"Hey-"_

"Oh my god, oh my god, okso. You were at the party last night, right?"  
_"Yeah!"  
_"Did you see Kai?"  
_"Yeah, but why-"_

"So he's acting all weird, right? Like, screeching at the top of his lungs for 'Mountain Dew Red', whatever that is." She flapped her hands around, before realising that Harumi couldn't see her, and lowered her hands awkwardly.

_"He's GOT to get better at drinking. He shouldn't drink so much for a small guy."_ Harumi laughed on the other end.

"Totally agree with you there, but he wasn't drunk."  
_"What the hell, Pixal-"  
_"No, Harumi, he wasn't drunk! I heard from Shade that he'd drunk nothing, so you can't blame what he did on the booze!"  
_"...Ok, but what did Kai do then?"_

Pixal took a deep breath.

"Kai set a fire and he burned down Lloyd's house."

...

_"Woah. I'm telling Skylor."  
_"Wait! That wasn't all I wanted to tell you-"

The line went dead. Pixal sighed, and looked down at the magazine beside her.

"I..."

Her voice caught in her throat. She didn't even realise the tears were falling before that.

* * *

**oop lots of drama :)**

**what's pixal crying about? maybe you won't even find out? heheheheheheh**

**please review if you have time! :D**


	3. and he burned down Lloyd's house

**@pixalborg: **OMG @KaiIsTrying burned down @lloydgaramdont 's house at the party last night!!! can't believe it

**@Whylor: **oh my godddd I hope @lloydgarmadont is ok

**@JadePrincessPerfect: **did kai die?? ngl he kind deserved it oop

**@Shady: **changing my pfp to a pic of him dabbing to spread awareness

Jay shut him phone off, groaning slightly. "What the hell...

_"__I would suggest turning that back on. You need to keep up to date on the latest rumors-"_

Jay spun round and glared at ZANE. "What the hell, man? If I want to do something, I do it! Also, it's not like you helped me last night."

_"I told you, alcohol shuts down my systems for a while. Thus, when you drank the first drink you saw-"_

"IT WAS A PARTY! YOU DON'T GO TO A PARTY WITHOUT GETTING DRUNK!!" He yelled at the computer.

ZANE blinked._ "That was out loud."_

"I KNOW!"

ZANE sighed, and pinched the end of his nose. _"Look, Jay- Let me put it this way. You do not have a fault."_

ZANE began to pace long strides around Jay's room.

_"Over the past weeks and months, you have improved immensely! You are... 93% more attractive; you have had more experience with the opposite sex... that's to say, you've _**_had _**_experience with the opposite sex-"_

"What are you trying to say, computer-dude-ZANE-boy-thing?" Jay asked tiredly. It was a long night last night can't he just-

_"The fault... is in your peers. See, you were just a loser before you took the pill, and now your life has improved tenfold! But... others are suffering."_

Jay leaned forward in his chair, intrigued.

_"You see, these others don't know how amazing the ZANE pill is. How it can change your life for the incredible better."_

"...What are you suggesting?" Jay whispered quietly.

ZANE grinned wickedly.

_"We need to save the **pitiful children** of Ninjago High."_

* * *

_"Our first target is Pixal,"_ ZANE stated as he stalked his way down the hall, Jay almost jogging to keep up with his pace, _"She will be the easiest to infiltrate. She is also extremely upset, so will want to be made happy again."_

"H-how to did you know that? Why is she upset?" Jay asked incredulously. ZANE turned to him, a blank look on his face. (Jay was silently hoping he wouldn't get shocked for stuttering.)

_"I know things. Also, that is a matter for her to decide," _he said, before gesturing to where Pixal was standing at her locker, eyes red.

Jay took a deep breath, and walked up to her.

"Hey, Pixal."

She jumped, and held onto her phone a little bit tighter, making sure it wouldn't drop or break. "Oh! Uhm, hey?"

"You're upset, aren't you?" Jay said smoothly; after all, he was being force-fed lines to reiterate through no will of his own.

Pixal flinched slightly. "How- How did you-"

Jay held out his palm to show a small icy-grey oblong pill laying in the centre.

"It's called a ZANE."

* * *

Lloyd peered out onto the stage to see what was happening.

It was, uh, quite eventful.

Jay was fighting a boy with a red hoodie, shouting something he couldn't quite hear- and was the other one holding a bottle of... _red Mountain Dew?!_

He shook himself out of his daze when he heard Red Hoodie yell at him, "Hey, Lloyd! Um, this is gonna sound weird, but if I pin down Jay, can you make him drink this?"

Lloyd grinned. _Ah, so_ that's _what this is about._

"Actually? That doesn't sound weird at all."

He began to hobble over on his crutches (kinda hard to walk on 2 broken legs), but before he could move even 3 steps, a voice in the back of his head that sounded _suspiciously_ like Carly Rae Jepsen said "Up, up, down, down, left, right, A," and then he was lifting his arms up and dropping his crutches, and everything went black.

* * *

Kai opened his eyes slowly, wincing at the bright hospital lights beaming down. What the hell, why couldn't they make them less fucking _luminescent_-

A soft groaning sound came from the other side of the room, and Kai glanced over to see-

_Oh **hell** no._

Jay Walker was waking up from whatever the hell had happened at the school play, and he was sharing a room with his bully.

Jay's bleary eyes crossed the room, stopping on Kai.

He needed to say something, he needed to say something, he needed to s_ay something-_

"Feels like you're missing a part of yourself, doesn't it?"

Wow. That was slightly pathetic.

"K-Kai?" Jay asked, understandably nervous.

"Hurts like a motherfucker too," he said, training his eye on the tiled floor. "Be honest, what've they been saying about me at school?"

Jay looked away and Kai scoffed. "That bad, huh?" He deserved it, anyway.

"Sorry..."

Kai almost laughed. "_Sorry?_ My guy, I'm finally free from that shiny happy hive mind." He grinned widely at Jay. "The ladies are gonna get to _love _the real Kai Smith."

He hesitated slightly, thinking over everytime the ZANE had shocked him for thinking about a guy in a less than platonic way-

"...And the dudes."

He glanced at Jay, who was bearing the most confused and uncomfortable look he'd ever seen on a living creature.

"Oh my FSM, I'm totally

_bi! _"

* * *

**Even though i ship Kailor to a high extent, that was the main reason Kai would be Rich tbh**


End file.
